In those times of aloneness, you are not alone. As you walk your human journey you are Grace and Beauty even at those times you do not see this. Each moment brings you the promise of a greater understanding. To find this understanding that seems so out of reach is to silence the mind, close your eyes, breath deeply, and begin your journey inward with out judgment or fear. You Children of the Universe are Magnificent Beyond the Scope of Human Understanding……The Ancients
While working with people over the years I have come to realize many people believe I have lived a charmed life. This is not the case. I am writing this to give you a glimpse into my life. It isn’t so different from what other people have experienced. And the same as others, I have asked the question, if I am creating this life why did I choose the experiences I did?
My early life was far from charmed. I experienced emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. The adults in my life had alcohol and drug addictions. Violence at times was a daily occurrence. There was little stability and many times, I didn’t know where I was going to be living next. I grew up being the caretaker of those who were supposed to be taking care of me.
The first thirty years of my life reflected what I had learned as a child. I had abandonment and trust issues. I judged myself as harshly as those around me did. I had no voice and one of the only ways I knew how to express was through anger. I slowly and steadily slid into the life I grew up in.
At times I didn’t just fall to my knees, I fell to the point my elbows scraped the ground. I had no idea how to reach out to others. How could I? I had been taught not to trust, not to believe and that I did not deserve.
Those teachings were reflected in my outer reality until I chose to say enough, come to understand the only way this was to change was if I chose to look at myself. There was a part of me that has always understood that I could put the blame for my life being what it was on others but, that was not true and would not help me. Somehow, I knew, that if I wanted change in my life, I had to own it. If I didn’t like what I was choosing to live it was up to me to change it.
Of course, I kept attracting the same types of situations. I began to question them, to look at them differently and allow them to take me into my journey self-awareness. I no longer accepted them as what my life had to be. That is when my life moved forward.
I often read posts about people being strong, fighting against a believed injustice and that they will survive. I used to feel that way. But now, I know what this life has taught me. The experiences in my life taught me compassion, tolerance and understanding. My strength is in my ability to give and receive love. My strength is in not surviving this life but, living it.
This is a time of empowerment. This is a time in which to be compassionate, tolerant, understanding and filled with love. Let it begin with you and move out from you. Have a beautiful day.....Cherry