Monthly Archives: October 2017

Special Offer:
From November 1st ~ 10th schedule and appointment and receive:
$10 off of the half hour session
$15 off of the one hour session
Cancellations must occur 24 hours prior to the appointment or you are responsible for the entire charge.Announcements:
For information on the upcoming Hawaiian Experience Retreat and Mt. Shasta Retreat and secure your place now.
I will be setting up classes on Learn it Live soon.  I will send out information along with posting on my website about the classes.
November 5th I will be the guest on BlogTalk Radios New Age Guild Radio | Spirit Talk Radio

Being Present and Creating New

It is interesting that we attract new people into our lives with the intention of having a new experience.  Yet, when the new people enter, in record time we place them into the role someone else has played in our life.  What is even more interesting is, we are not aware of doing this because we have convinced ourselves our reactions are justified due to outdated alarms going off in our heads telling us we must protect ourselves.

This saying has been replaying in my mind lately, “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results", I can easily see that we cannot create anything new by projecting onto another our thoughts, feelings and reactions that came from the result of a different person or a different time in our lives. 

Part of the spiritual walk is to be willing to look at ourselves with as much honesty as possible so, that we may let go of what no longer serves us.  With each step we take in life we have come to a place of a new understanding if we are willing to see this.  That means looking at ourselves and others with patience, tolerance, and compassion.   It’s also important to remember with self-care and self-love, we become more accepting and loving towards ourselves and others.

 A few indications the old patterns are in control of your life and not you:

  • Starting any thought or sentence with, “This always happens” or “You always do” Nothing always happens the same and no one always does the same thing.This type of thought is a defense mechanism that shuts you off and shuts the other person out.Nothing new can come into your life by holding this thought.

When you feel yourself going there or having gone there, take a break and think for a moment about the situation.  Remind yourself this is a new person who has a completely different life experience than you have.   Ask yourself where the need to shut down and block the other person is coming from.   As you do this, you may find that another person or event from earlier comes into your mind that has nothing to do with the person you are with now.  Make a mental note to be present with the person you are with, do not project onto them and later go back to that earlier time so, that you may heal the emotional wound.

  • The conversation has moved forward in a direction that adds understanding to the issue, and you agree with the direction of the conversation yet, you reach back to the earlier issue that was cleared up, not letting go of it like a dog shaking the life out of an old chew toy.

This may be the part of you that felt powerless at an earlier time in your life that still needs to be recognized as being right so, that you feel as if you have won.  There is not necessarily winning in a discussion with a person.  There is understanding and coming to comprehension of how the other person views the situation.  There is no losing for either person when this is done.  There is only coming to more closeness as each person’s view it acknowledged which allows for compromise. 

  • You do not listen to the words the other person is saying or discount everything they say. The ego is in control at this point not the heart. Take a breath and move out of the ego and into the heart.
  •  You start acting childish. This happens because the adult self is not there.The issues of the child self-have not been resolved. 

There are many more indicators yet, it is best to start with only a few so, you don’t become overwhelmed.

A short checklist that assist you in seeing your patterns:

  • Is the current situation the main upset or did the situation trigger an earlier memory of an upsetting time?
  • Are you being present and listening to the person speaking to you?
  • Are you only willing to argue or make the other person wrong?
  • Are you reacting without allowing understanding?
  • Are you belittling, berating, or otherwise dishonoring the other person?
  • Do you feel the need to put up defensive barriers?
  • Are you placing yourself in the role of the victim?
  • Are you wanting to win without regard to the person or the actual issue?

These are only a few questions that allow you to check in on your motives. 

A short list to assist in creating a new positive outcome:

  • Remind yourself by having a disagreement neither person is wrong, you are only seeing things from a different viewpoint.
  • Can you grow emotionally or spiritually by hearing the other persons point of view?
  • Compromise with each party allows a solution where everyone benefits.
  • Allowing each person to speak while the other agrees to listen without preconceived ideas or projections.
  • What positive outcome do you want to occur from this?
  • How can you help that happen?
  • Are you in your heart or in your ego?
  • What does this person add to your life?
  • What are their positive attributes?
  • Revisit your childhood issues with love

Again, this is only a short list of the many questions you can ask yourself to create a better outcome.  You are the creator of your life.   Do you want to create the same old, same old or something new and better?  Where you apply your energy will attract in the end results. 

Many blessings.......Cherry