Falling back into an old pattern is so very easy to do. You take the steps that you are told will assist you in creating the life you choose to have. This is a matter of asking yourself what you really want to have and experience. What does it look like? What does it feel like? What has held you back from claiming it? What are your worries and fears?
As you sit with yourself asking these questions, formulating the answers, writing them down and allowing yourself to “feel” what it is you want, a little smile creeps onto your face. You become happy with yourself because you have designed a whole new experience.
Then WHAM! The old pattern creates itself again.
You feel the familiar essence of the pattern. This familiar essence lulls you into believing you have stepped into a new direction even when the red flags are throwing themselves in front of you so fast that if you don’t duck one is going to smack you in the head.
OK – slight exaggeration. But many times the truth is, when we have decided we want more in our lives than we have had, we do have false starts. We do attract in the same old thing only it’s brought to us in a way that seems different. This is neither good nor bad. It is only part of us becoming aware of how we create.
The key to this is becoming unafraid of looking at our patterns and why they are in place. What is in it for us? Is it there only because it has the comfortable feel of an old pair of slippers that you place on your feet and say, “Ah, now I am home.” You know how to keep them on your feet. You know where there is going to be an uneven spot and how to take the next step so that you do not topple over. Maybe these slippers are not as comfortable as you have led yourself to believe. Maybe they are shabby, worn out and do not give you the support you need.
How do you become aware of the old patterns that lull you back? (How do you notice that you are putting on that pattern again just like the familiar shabby slippers?) Start to become aware of your patterns: What are the themes? What have the messages been in your life? How is the pattern serving you? Notice the differences in how you respond to the patterns or, for that matter, the automatic responses that has come with time after time of creating them.
These patterns are due to a misled belief that this is what life looks and feels like. This belief was created early in your life, at a time when the patterns served and, at times, protected you. The patterns held you fast in the illusion that was established at those vulnerable times in your life. It is good to come to the understanding you are not that same person and you no longer need to hold the old protective comfort. There has been an opening to your awareness that says there is more for you out there. There is a much better life to be experienced and you deserve to have your heart’s desire. Don’t be afraid to let go of what you have known.
Be willing to take your emotional inventory. Hold a dialogue with yourself. Check in often with how you are responding to what you are creating. Do not judge yourself or any others that have stepped up to help you with this life lesson.
How to recognize old patterns:
- Whether it be a new person, location or job you find you go into an automatic response.
- You repeat old behaviors.
- You feel as if a part of you has shut down.
- You ignore the inner voice that goes through your mind that says, “Watch out, this feels familiar.”
- You feel the anxiety, sadness, disconnect or other emotional response you had to the earlier life experiences that assisted in cementing in the pattern.
- You put your wants and needs into the background making due with what is there.
- You ignore or rationalize the red flags that pop up.
How to change the pattern:
- Stay present within yourself. Check in to see if what you are doing fits what you want in your life.
- Be willing not to judge yourself or anything or anyone else associated with the pattern. This is only a life lesson.
- Be willing to step out of your comfort zone.
- Continue taking self-inventory.
- Check in to see if the situation is benefiting your personal growth.
- Be willing to be uncomfortable. Growth stretches us past our comfort zones.
- Work with a trusted friend or guide. This is definitely something we can do together! Just email me firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll schedule a time to start shifting your old patterns and begin creating new ones that support the life you want.
It’s time to take off the old slippers and put on new ones. You do deserve a bright and shiny life!
I will be adding additional information to my website about the upcoming Hawaiian Experience Retreat. Please check back.